Quitting My Job + Two Naps a Day = Less Doing, More Being
Two years ago I walked away from a 20-year corporate career and gave myself permission to do nothing. Not zen nothing. Marla nothing, which my husband points out is still a little too busy. But it was the most important thing I ever did. And now I’m about to head out on six months of solo travel, and the question I keep coming back to is: am I going to travel as a human doing, or a spirit being?
IN THIS EPISODE
- Why busyness can be anxiety in disguise, and how to tell the difference
- What the Dastardly Das (those coulda, shoulda, wouldas) sound like when they’re running the show
- How your body signals the difference between obligation and genuine spirit calling
- A simple laughter toolbox practice for noticing when you’re in human doing mode and shifting gears
EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS WITH TIMESTAMPS
[00:10] Welcome to Laughter Revolution and the episode topic introduction
[00:35] Marla shares the story of leaving her corporate job two years ago
[03:18] The gift: four months of luck, Marla’s version of nothing, and multiple naps a day
[05:13] How do you know it’s spirit calling vs. anxiety dressed up as inspiration?
[07:46] Human doing vs. spirit being on a trip, and must is a Dastardly Da with a cattle prod
[08:28] The Mona Lisa, the Louvre, and the must-see that did not deliver
[11:32] The legend of Muzzy’s: the worst hotel in Turkey and why they are still dining out on it
[13:35] Question for you: where are you stuck in human doing?
[14:06] Laughter Toolbox: noticing the Das, feeling the difference, and cleaning the kitchen with Michel
[17:00] Wrap-up, how to connect, and an apology in advance for the Scottish accent
Let’s connect
If this episode made you think about where you are spending your time doing versus being, I would love to hear about it. Connect with me via [email protected], Instagram, and Facebook
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And if you want to follow along on my trip as I’m learning and laughing across the world, subscribe to the Laughter Revolution Digest at marlasimlett.com.
Full Episode Transcript
Hey, everybody. Welcome to Laughter Revolution, the podcast that’s built on the premise that even though life can be heavy, getting through it doesn’t always have to be. Because laughter!
I’m your host, Marla Simlett, and today I’m going to be talking about human doing versus spirit being, and how I’m bringing that into my upcoming travel adventure. So let’s get into it.
What’s the sticky?
Now, I’m going to start with a story, because two years ago, almost to the day, I left my corporate job. Boom. Big decision. And I don’t want you to think that it was an easy decision for me. I liked what I did. I’d been working in corporate HR for almost 20 years, and I was good at it. I knew what I was doing. I had a fairly good salary, really great vacation and benefits, and I loved my team, and really enjoyed the people that I worked with.
But at that point, I was coming off of my three years of yuck, as I call it, and I talk about that in a previous episode. I was also, as much as I liked what I was doing, in a workplace that had become what I like to call “workiculous,” which was just a ridiculous pace of expectations and response times, and things were just unmanageable.
And it was really having an impact on my mental health, my nervous system, and also just my happiness and my general contentment and peace of mind. And I knew deep down that there was something more that I wanted to do, and that I needed to do.
So after lots of contemplation, I left that workplace.
Now, one of the things I really knew was that part of what was contributing to my anxiety and to my nervous system upregulation was myself. The things that I was doing, or the way I was behaving, that was exacerbating things that were happening in the workplace. So perfectionism, and being kind of a workaholic, and really needing to move really quickly.
Because I’m a doer with a capital D. I am really efficient. I work really fast. I multitask. I used to think that it was a sign of my brilliance that I could be thinking about five different things at once, but I’m realizing more and more that that wasn’t so much the case. I may be smart, but it was more that I had anxiety just running through my… keeping my brain running so quickly in an effort to try to control everything in my life so that I could feel safe. And so I knew that I didn’t want to bring that energy into the next phase of my career and my life.
So two years ago, when I left my job, I gave myself a gift. What I like to call now, coming out of my three years of yuck, my four months of luck. And I call it luck because I really consider myself lucky that I had the time and space and the wherewithal to give myself the gift of slowing down, of really taking the time to do Marla’s version of nothing. And even a little bit beyond Marla’s Version of Nothing, because that can be a little bit frenetic as well, as my husband likes to point out.
But tuning into my body and just letting it do what it needed to do to recover from the stress and anxiety that I’d been dealing with for the past few years. That wasn’t easy, but I made myself the promise that I was going to do that until I was able to come into the next phase of my career, which I like to call my Act III, in a position of excitement and fun and enthusiasm rather than anxiety, fear, and obligation.
So my four months looked like me listening to my body and sitting when it wanted to sit, and moving when it wanted to move, and not moving and doing things when it didn’t want to do that, even though all the voices in my head were saying that I should. And that was a big thing for me as well, not listening to what I like to call the Dastardly Das, those coulda, shoulda, wouldas that we all know and don’t really love.
So not listening to the Das. Eating when my body wanted to eat. Sleeping when it wanted to sleep. I had so many naps. Some days I would have more than one nap a day, and I’m not ashamed to say it!
And at a certain point, about four months in, I started to feel what I call spirit calling me to kind of come back, letting me know that I was ready to move forward into this next phase.
Unsticking the stuck
And I think I can hear what you’re thinking right now. How do you know that it was spirit calling you, that you were ready, as opposed to that anxiety and fear and obligation that was maybe showing up as inspiration or as kind of energy of, “Oh, I better get going”? I had to think about that a lot too, and what it really came down to is back to the body.
When I could tune in, my body knew what it needed. And so what I learned is that when it’s fear and anxiety that’s guiding things, or the Dastardly Das, the coulda, shoulda, wouldas, there’s a tightness to that. There’s a pressure in my chest. There’s thoughts racing through my head. There’s not a lot of quiet, and the Das are singing their song in full harmony. And so what that sounded like to me was, “Oh, Marla, come on, you have got to get moving. You should be further ahead by now. Other people would be doing more with that. You could be getting off your butt and moving. There’s no reason for you to be sitting around doing nothing.” That was that soundtrack.
As opposed to spirit calling me, or being in that spirit being position. In my body, that just feels light and quiet and there’s a looseness to it, and this energy that comes up, more of possibility as opposed to obligation, of fun, of excitement as opposed to nervous energy.
And there are no Das. They are quiet, and that is our signal.
And so fast forward now two years, and I’m getting ready to head out on my six-month solo adventure. And I’m calling this my six months of… Now wait for it, because we had our three years of yuck, and then we had our four months of luck. Now I’m going to have six months of… I can see where your mind went on that, and that’s not it at all.
I’m calling this my six months of pluck. Because what pluck is, is the willingness to go gently into the unknown, to call up your spirit and do what other people may not be able to do, or what you maybe couldn’t have believed that you could do. And that’s where I want to be, in that place of spirit being, traveling the world.
Now, what’s the difference between being in spirit being on a trip and being in human doing? Many of you may recognize human doing when you’re traveling. Human doing is having an itinerary that is booked hour by hour or day by day, getting to all of the sights and attractions that you’ve been told are a must-see, that you coulda, shoulda, woulda, or must get to.
Now, as far as I’m concerned, must is just a Dastardly Da with a cattle prod. Because if you’re not going to listen to the Das, must is going to come in and make you feel like if you don’t do that, your world is going to end.
So my experience with the must-sees is that most of the time they don’t live up to the hype. And here’s an example. Michel and I were in Paris in 2024, and we had never been to the Louvre. We’d been to Paris before, but never the Louvre. And so we decided to go one afternoon, and I decided that I had to must-see the Mona Lisa. Because you’re at the Louvre, you’re going to see the Mona Lisa, which I’d been hearing about my whole life.
So I trudged through the museum and got to the room. And there were hundreds of other people with their cameras up, taking pictures and photographing and videoing the Mona Lisa. I couldn’t get anywhere near it without waiting for hours and forcing my way through. Took a picture from the doorway and moved on.
And that is what happens when everyone is following the must-sees. My experience with traveling has been that not coulda, shoulda, wouldaing, not must-seeing, can lead to so many other great adventures, so many other experiences that you wouldn’t have had if you hadn’t been in that place of spirit being. So what my six months of pluck is going to look like, hopefully, and this is the goal that I’m working towards, is that I’m going to be more in my body, and waking up each morning, having not made a lot of plans, and asking, “What sounds good today? What is going to nourish my spirit? What is going to bring in that positive energy of laughter and fun and being in the moment that I want to be in?”
And here’s the thing. You might have been wondering where the laughter is. You’re talking about laughter, Marla, where’s the laughter stuff? Laughter is a way to keep yourself grounded in that present moment. Because when you’re looking for the funny, when you’re looking for the things that are going to make you giggle, that really bring you joy and positivity and fun, you can’t do that if you’re rushing around from one thing to another, if you’ve got an itinerary that’s going to keep you moving all the time, if you’re constantly looking on a map to get to where you need to go. So I’m going to be staying in the moment, staying present by looking for the funny. Sitting in a coffee shop, watching people, seeing what’s quirky or humorous about them, having conversations with people.
The other way that bringing in the funny and looking for the funny can help is that trips don’t always go smoothly, and things can happen that in the moment may seem like a catastrophe, something where there’s no way you’re going to be able to find any funny in that.
I’ve had experiences where all my stuff was on a bus that wasn’t going to let me on. I’ve had experiences where we’ve gotten on the wrong train and ended up so far away from where we were supposed to be and couldn’t figure out how to get back.
And then there’s Muzzy’s. So this story… Normally when we travel, Michel is the man on the ground. He’s the one who gets us to where we need to go, which I’m really going to be missing during my six months of pluck. Because I have no sense of direction, as I may have mentioned before. Absolutely none. Michel’s the man on the ground. I’m the person who usually does all the work to find the accommodations.
But when we were in Turkey about 12 years ago, I passed it over to Michel to find an accommodation in one of the spots that we were going to, and we ended up at Muzzy’s. You can just hear it in the name. It was one of the most disgusting places I had ever stayed, with staff who seemed to never have expected anybody to actually show up. They were just stunned and not quite sure what to do. The room was disgusting. The first night we were there, I couldn’t sleep. I was up at 3:00 AM scratching and batting mosquitoes and trying to find somewhere else to stay because we had to be there another night. We managed to get through it. We didn’t come home with any incurable diseases or bedbugs, but it was an experience.
And what that has turned into is this: Michel and I are still dining out on the stories of Muzzy’s at dinner parties, making our friends laugh. And any time something horrible happens now, the punchline, inevitably and eventually, is, “Yeah? Well, it was no Muzzy’s.” So being in that place of looking for the funny helps make some of those harder situations, when you’re traveling or in life, a little bit easier.
So that’s my goal for my trip, and I’m going to be talking about it as I go along. Hopefully you’ll be tuning in to find out how I’m doing in my spirit being.
Laughter Toolbox
So here’s a question for you. Where are you stuck in your life in human doing versus being in that space of spirit being, and listening to your body, and listening to what your spirit and your body want and need for you? And that could be in work, it could be in relationships, it could be in travel, like me.
But where are you not tuning in, or not able to tune in, and why not? And what’s keeping you stuck?
So that leads us into our Laughter Toolbox today, because I’d like to give you some tools, or a tool, to start moving you along in noticing when the Dastardly Das are coming in for you, and how to shift that a little bit.
So the first part is noticing and awareness. Starting to tune into when that choir starts singing their song. “Surely you should’ve been further along in your career by now. You really could’ve exercised more today.” You know how they come in for you. So noticing them and acknowledging them. “Hey Da, what’s up?” And start to be curious about why they’re coming in and whose voice that is anyway.
And then I think it’s important to start tuning into noticing how different it feels when something is a should and feels like an obligation, versus something that is part of spirit being, something that’s going to feed your soul and nurture you and be fun.
So the difference between, “I really should call her back,” and, “Wow, I’m really looking forward to catching up with her.” And just noticing how different that feels, because that will give you a clue to where this human doing is coming in and some of those Dastardly Das, versus what’s going to feel good for you.
And don’t get me wrong. I know there are times when you have to listen to the Das, because life, right? So one of my Das that comes in more often than I care to admit: “Marla, you should really clean the kitchen.” Well, yes, I should clean the kitchen, but how can I move that from “I should clean the kitchen” to “I’m going to feel good when the kitchen is clean”? And I’m going to bring in some laughter, some fun, something that’s going to nourish my spirit, something that’s going to make it feel good for me to do that thing that I really do need to do.
So maybe putting on some great music, knowing that I’m going to reward myself with a bike ride, or seeing a friend, or doing something fun afterwards. Bringing Michel in. I always bring Michel in to help clean the kitchen. I am not cleaning the kitchen by myself. But making it fun for the two of us to do it together. Many hands make light work.
So noticing, acknowledging, being aware of the difference between human doing and spirit being, and then finding the fun when there’s something you have to do. I invite you to try that out, and I hope it brings some awareness and a little more lightness to your time and your work and wherever you’re getting stuck in that.
What’s around the corner?
So that’s it for this episode, other than wrapping up a few things.
Number one, I love to hear from you. I’m wanting to build a community here, so please send in your jokes or things that you’re laughing about, questions you have. Tell me about your Dastardly Das and some of the things that have happened with that.
You can connect with me through Instagram, through Facebook, or send me an email at [email protected].
What’s up next? Eek, who knows? Because I’m leaving on a jet plane. Don’t know when I’ll be back again. For all you John Denver fans, and I apologize for singing. No one said there was going to be singing in this podcast!
But I am leaving, and by the time you listen to this episode, I will be in Scotland. And because I’m going to be busy in spirit being, or not busy in spirit being, I don’t know what I’m going to be talking about or what I’m going to be doing. The only thing I can probably guarantee is that I’m going to be trying to do a Scottish accent, so I will apologize again in advance for that.
But I hope you’ll tune in and listen during my travels, and see where I’m finding the funny and how I am moving along with my spirit on this trip.
So thanks for being here. This was Laughter Revolution, and I’m Marla Simlett. I hope you’ll come back next time. Please hit subscribe if you know you’d like to follow along, and then you’ll be sure never to miss an episode.
So I’m signing out. And remember, until next time: laugh more, be well, become your greatest you.
